here is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest bar. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer- Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks.
2. No changing your oil in the street.
3. No loud and wild parties without inviting the manager.
4. You may have no more than 3 beer can wind chimes each only having no more than 6 cans each.
5. Drunkenness will not be tolerated in the streets prior to 10 am.
6. While outside of your trailer you must be at least partially clothed.*
7. If you prefer to clean your trailer in the nude, please close the curtains. *
8. When bringing in the Jerry Springer or COPS film crews, please provide the management prior written notice so that certain residents may be forewarned.
9. Empty beer bottles should not be discarded on the front lawn. However, they may remain there until you are sober enough to collect them with the understanding you will collect them within 7 days whether sober or not.
10. When bringing dates home to your trailer, please be advised that in the event the sidewalks need to be repaired or replaced due to the weight of your date, you will be responsible for all cost incurred.
Note* (Exemptions to rules 6 & 7 may be provided to women between the ages of 18 and 35. Please submit a photograph to the manager for approval.)
Following these simple rules should make your stay in our trailer park more enjoyable for everyone.
WATER...... It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter Of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more Than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, We are consuming 1 kilo of poop!
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, Vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a Distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
It is better to drink wine and talk sh*t than to drink water and be full Of sh*t.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing This as a public service.