If athletes get athletes foot

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Category: Holiday jokes


Q If April showers bring

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Category: Holiday jokes


Q What do elves learn

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elfabet.

Category: Holiday jokes


What do you call people

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Category: Holiday jokes


Johnny wanted to get his

Johnny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, "Hmm, a pet might be a good idea." He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. "How about a puppy?" "No," said Johnny. "It may poop around the house." "A fish?" "No, her house is small, so I don’t think an aquarium will fit." Johnny then spied a parrot and asked, "How about that parrot?" "Oh," said the manager, "That’s Chet. He’s very expensive." "Well," said Johnny, "It’s my mom let’s take a look." The manager went to Chet, put a lighter under his left wing, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." Then the manager put a lighter under Chet’s right wig and it started to sing, "Dashing through the snow..." "Wow!" said Johnny, "What else does he sing?" The manager held the lighter under Chet’s crotch at which point Chet sang, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."

Category: Holiday jokes


What do the female reindeer

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve? They go into town and blow a few bucks.

Category: Holiday jokes


Q Why do witches wear

Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: To know which witch is which!

Category: Holiday jokes


A father and son are

A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, "What present are my sister and I going to get?" The dad answers, "I got you guys an iPad and iPod." "Wow, thanks," the son replies, "What will you give mom?" The dad says, "Your mom is getting an iRon."

Category: Holiday jokes


Whats the difference between a

Whats the difference between a girls snowman and a boy snowman?

Snowballs!!!!

Category: Holiday jokes


Q Why are ghosts such

Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Category: Holiday jokes